--by Helena Anderson

If you are brand new to Wicca, chances are you have never had the unique experience of participating in ritual with other people. Perhaps you aren't even sure where to start in FINDING these other people. You've read all the books you could get your hands on, you've done a few rituals on your own, but you long for the company of others. Even if you don't long for the company of others, allow me to offer some free advice. It's perfectly fine to be a solitary, but it's also good to try to expose yourself to as much ritual experience and interaction with fellow Wiccans as possible. It may require a little digging, but generally, everywhere on the Goddess' green earth, there are Pagans and Wiccans. How to start?

Of course, a networking organization like the Delaware Valley Pagan Network is an excellent place to start, and if you are reading this article, chances are you are at the very least aware that such organizations exist. Read the newsletter, check out the events, the listings, the local Pagan mer- chants, and you are on your way to con- necting with others of a like mind.

Should you decide to try and connect with the larger community through visiting a Wiccan/Pagan store, here are a few pointers. The kindly person behind the counter can inform you of any events in the area, or people you might connect with, if you approach them in a discreet and respectful manner. If fortune is really smiling on you, perhaps the store itself will host events.

When approaching a clerk at one of these stores, it behooves you to be not only discreet but also very courteous and respectful. This is someone who can provide you with many resources, and they are usually careful to check out the sort of person who is trying to enter the local community. If you are obnoxious, or hang around for hours without buying anything, they will definitely remember you for it later, and pass the information along to others in the area. As mom always said, first impressions count. That said, don't behave like a choir boy scraping at the heels of the Parish Priest. Shop owners and Priestesses are just people, and they'll think less of you if you act sycophantic.

One of my favorite stories is about a time when my friend Sian and I decided to check out a store called The Dragon Queen's Lair (Claymont, Delaware.) We'd heard about it from a magickal conference we'd attended several months before. Unfortunately, on the day we decided to check it out, we were on our way back from a funeral. Decked out in our black suits, we looked for all the world like narcs or federal agents. We couldn't find it, driving back and forth on the street where we'd thought it would be. We went into a record store near by and asked if they'd ever heard of it. The profusely pierced sales clerk and customer stared at us as if we were the biggest geeks they'd ever seen, then told us they had never heard of it! We then went to the shop of a friend nearby (Between Books, Claymont, DE) and he informed us it had been right next door to the record store!!!! So you see, first impressions DO count.

If you do find that there are events at the shop, find out what you need to do in order to attend. If you are fortunate enough to find out that covens or groups in the area are offering open events, find out whom to contact in order to attend. It may or may not be necessary to call first, but if you can call, do so. It not only gives you a better sense of the people you'll be meeting, it will also give them a sense of you. This will make them feel more comfortable about the new person (sometimes called i?newbiesle) attending one of their events.

Another possibility when trying to find groups in your area is the Internet. America Online, for all its shortcomings, does have a lot of Wiccan resources available. Check the bulletin boards, as many groups list themselves there, or check into the Wiccan/ Pagan Chat Room. When in doubt, go to Keyword, and go to Pagan. That will take where you need to go. Many covens now also have their own web sites.This newslet- ter will have a listing of websites of local groups, and you should definitely check them out. The Witches' Voice is also an excellent website for national groups, events, and individuals to contact: http://www.witchvox.com. And of course, locally, please check out The Broom Closet: http://www.broomcloset.org.

If you have located a group in your area that you would like to contact, there are a few things to consider when making the contact. As I mentioned above, be respectful and courteous. Do NOT call anyone after nine o'clock at night or before ten o'clock in the morning. Like everyone else, most High Priestesses and High Priests have jobs and/ or children, and it is simple courtesy not to call at times that may be inconvenient, such as the dinner hour. I can't tell you how many times my husband and I thought we had settled down to have ourselves a good night's sleep, only to be awakened by a curious seeker. As you might imagine, we were not as amenable as we might have been at an earlier hour. As you may also imagine, there's not much that is more irritating than to be woken up at 8:00 AM on a Saturday morning. I can't say this enough: High Priestesses and High Priests also have lives. They are not to be accessible 24 hours a day. Respect their need for privacy and quiet. They will be grateful you did.

Okay, so you've made contact, and you're on your way to your very first ritual, event, gathering, etc.. What do you do once you get there? If you are alone, and you don't know anyone there, introduce yourself. Most Wiccans are friendly, and will remem- ber their first time in circle themselves. (What I remember most about mine is standing there trying not to cry, because I was so happy at having found like-minded individuals.) Try to seek out whoever is hosting the event, particularly if you've spoken to them on the phone. They'll be glad to meet you. It's a good idea to bring some kind of food to share. Many of these events are potluck, so you don't want to arrive without food to share. If you own ritual garb (a robe) at this point, ask when and where you should put it on.

As regards food for the event, if it is a ritual, and you see food or drink on the altar, don't eat it or drink it. (I had the misfortune of watching Bill, my husband, smack an unknowing person's hand as it reached for the ritual goodies.) The coven is reserving it to be blessed for the cakes and ale portion of the ritual. It is also important to know if it is okay to eat any of the food offered before the ritual takes place, as some covens be- lieve in some form of fasting prior to ritual.

This information will help you on your way into the wonderful community of Pagans. Future articles will include what to do in a magickal circle and other information about interacting in the community at large. Don't be afraid to ask questions, learn, explore, and most of all, have fun.

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