--by Helena Anderson

In the last issue of “Spirit Guide,” I wrote about how to find and approach Wiccan/ Pagan groups. This time around, we’ll look at how to conduct one’s self in ritual. I confess, these articles are making me feel like the Miss Manners of Wicca… but as my mom used to say “Nice Matters.” Here’s a few guidelines on what to expect when you attend group rituals, and ideas on what to do!

Prior to going into ritual, a lot of groups will offer you some form of purification. The idea behind this is that you are cleansing yourself of the mundane before entering sacred space. This can happen in several different ways. Some covens prefer to allow people to self-purify. There will be a small bowl of salt water and incense at the opening of the circle (also called the Gate) as you enter. If this is the case, dip your hands into the water, allow the smoke from the incense to blow around you, or do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Some people make a great show of purifying themselves, dramatically waving the smoke up over their heads, and dipping into the salt water as though it was the Wellspring of Eternal Youth. Don’t feel you have to be showy. The idea is to purify, not stage the entire ritual at the Gate. Another option in purifying is that there may be several individuals at the Gate, either with incense or smudge stick and salt water. They will sprinkle the water on you and wave the smoke around you. If this is the case, pause long enough to allow them to purify you, and if you feel comfortable, say “Blessed Be” before you enter the circle.

Once you are in the circle, behave respect-fully. If you have, for whatever reason, decided that perhaps you would like to watch the ritual rather than participate (if the hosting group is amenable), then watch quietly, without distracting those in ritual. If you are taking part in the ritual, the same thing applies. Different covens sometimes have differing ideas about what goes in which quarter. If the way they call the circle is not the way you would do it, refrain from making any such comment. It is not only not polite, it also goes against my inherent feeling that there are no “shoulds” in Wicca.

Respect the way the hosting coven holds their rituals, and remember you can call the Quarters in any fashion you like when you get home.

One of the most important things to keep in mind is that when walking about the circle, to do so in a clockwise fashion, or deosil. The idea behind this is that one always wants to walk with the sun, not against the sun, or widdershins. There may be occa-sions when going counter-clockwise is appropriate (for the record, my coven doesn’t do it), but usually, the HP or HPS will instruct you as to when this is to occur. For the directionally impaired, find out where the East is to help you get oriented.

You should go from the East to the South, to the West, and then to the North when walking clockwise.

Another very important thing to know is generally, once you are in the circle, you are there for the duration. If you’re like me, this means being sure to visit the bathroom BEFORE entering the circle! There is a protocol if someone does need to leave the circle in case of emergency. Usually, you will want to get the attention of whoever is officiating at the ritual, and let them know of your problem. (If at all possible, let them know before hand if you know you will have to leave.) The HP or HPS will take their athame and cut a hole in the circle, through which you may leave. They will then seal up the hole, again sealing the energy of the circle.

Along with this advice, I also offer this: do NOT arrive late for ritual, and expect to enter into the circle. Sometimes, if the HP or HPS are willing, they will cut you into circle once the ritual has begun, however, do not assume that they will. It also gives a bad impression if you arrive once the ritual has already begun and assume you can enter. One more caveat of circle etiquette: if the ritual calls for sharing, i.e., discussing what you experienced in circle, don’t over do it. I have watched some very sincere and well meaning people babble on and on, not only about the fabulous visions they had in circle, but also about their financial situa-tion, their jobs, etc. If you don’t want to see your circle mates rolling their eyes back up in their heads waiting for you to finish, get to the point concisely and clearly. And remember, don’t feel badly if you haven’t had the same fabulous visions everyone else is claiming to have had; that kind of thing comes with practice and time.

Any other advice I might give would be along the lines of what your mom always told you about being a good guest. Offer to help with clean up afterwards. Don’t overstay your welcome by lingering long after other guests have gone. (Unless invited to do so.) Be nice to your fellow guests. Etc., etc., etc......

Blessings and have fun!

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