--A short story by G. Ashton

Hilde groaned, her eyes determined to stay shut when it was time to get up. "It's Saturday morning, ugh, not a morning to wake up early with a headache." "Why, oh why, do I have a headache on my day off?" she asked herself. Of course, she knew the answer. She hadn't been doing her Chi Gong on a regular basis, the only approach that was successful at keeping her allergy symptoms at bay.

With a sigh she pulled herself up out of bed, made an obligatory stop in the bathroom, and went out to the kitchen to make her favorite morning drink, COCOA!!! Who was she kidding, it is the ooonnnllyyy morning drink to have!

After nuking the cocoa she meandered to the living room, put on her CD player, choosing Sacred Spirit Drums, a nice soothing CD. Most people would consider this music New Age. To Hilde it was the perfect piece to play when doing Chi Gong, meditation, casting a circle, or just listen to. She sat down on the love-seat sofa bed she bought a few months earlier while another sigh escaped her.

She mused. She had been on "The Path" for many years. Yet, there were still areas in her life that were just not coming together for her. In a few short months she would turn 45. Happily single, last fall she moved into her house. Her first house as an adult (as opposed to apt renting) and she was very pleased indeed. Actually, it was the house her parents had built when they first married and they gave her a deal she couldn't refuse. However, last Fall she was also laid off from work, took a cut in pay, and was having great difficulty accepting this cut in pay; as well as the fact that her idea for having a hobby business just wasn't taking off.

Ok, now she was depressing herself. "Stop it", she said out loud. This startled her one cat that was lying sprawled out in the middle of the living room floor. Toby, her cat, quickly recovered and in a moments time was back in her relaxed state, shutting out the rest of the world. . One more thought that got Hilde riled up was the fact that most of her friends, anywhere from her age to 5-6

years younger than herself were doing much better in the financial category than what she was doing. Hilde didn't have any wish to trade places with them, but what was it that she was not seeing in herself? What was keeping her blocked? What lesson was she suppose to be learning from all of this? Looking out the window she watched a blue-jay take a sip of water from the bird-bath. "Ok, I know the areas that aren't working for me, lets look at the areas that are working for me."

Nearly 16 years ago she developed a chronic, serious health issue. What a crisis in her life! At age 29, and being an outdoors person, she had all of this striped from her. For Hilde the ultimate was being outdoors, on a horse, and feeling that power of being one with nature. Going out on trails in the woods on horseback was a wondrous experience each and every time. This, however, was the conscious beginning of starting on the path in the Earth Religion life. Of course, at the time she did not realize it, all she wanted was to get the health condi-tion in check by popping a pill and going on with her daily life. What a shock it was to learn that no medication worked on her condition. Here she was at age 29 and ultra sensitive to cold and heat, breaking out in hives in the cold along with a bunch of other symptoms. Of course, they didn't tell her about the heat part, she found that out very quickly when she went to the beach with a friend and literally fried. That all seemed life a different lifetime ago.

Hilde started her quest to see what would work on her health condition. This was the real beginning of being on "The Path." Her sister was a great source of inspiration and information, suggesting "why don't you read on this topic, why don't you read up on that subject? Her sister also suggested that Hilde check out homeopathy. "What?, what is homeopathy?" Hilde had asked. Her sister said "Read up on it", which Hilde did. "Now, where do you find a homeopathic physician?: A person at work said to look in the phone book. Hilde had felt foolish, what an obvious choice. Lo and behold there was a homeopathy/ allopathic licensed M. D. literally down the street!

Hilde had been very nervous going to this homeopathy physician. However, he was a kindly gentleman. Hilde wanted to address the new health condition immediately.

Thedoctor wanted to address other issues first. Hilde had always had trouble with her female cycle and this is what the doctor wanted to address. This had been very frustrating for her. There were success and failures in the homeopathy approach. However, it took the ups and downs of several years to even have a partial success for the sensitivity to the cold. The victory was no longer breaking out in hives in the cold weather. The non-success was several years han gone by and she was still overly sensitive to the cold and heat. "Time to move on." Hilde had said.

During this time Hilde's sister had lent her books, which really got Hilde thinking. Hilde's sister was the one who first lent her a book on ancient ways, "witchcraft." Hilde explored where holiday traditions came from and discovered her Pagan past. This had been very exciting and interesting and her quest became serious. Hilde was, and is very protective of her Wiccan/ Pagan/ Runic studies and practices. In the past, when she pursued interests with a passion, she literally had been devastated by blocks and non-success. She was not going to let anyone undermine her path on her studies or practices!

Over the years Hilde had explored Native American traditions and culture. As a matter of fact, her first magickal name had been Native American. However, this was an area where Hilde had kept hitting block after block. She read and read, but when she went to put it into practice, or to meet Native Americans to delve further into her interests, the door was definitely slammed in her face. Quiet persistence paid off and with time Hilde knew she didn't belong in just one belief system. Her own background was very mixed

Most of her relatives had come to the states in the 1600's from several different ethnic backgrounds. She was sure there was some Native American blood in her but this was not the tradition she was suppose to be pursuing. Hilde felt strongly that the tradition she should be pursuing was Celtic. However, this wasn't totally true either. She loved Celtic music and often played it on the CD. Even her current magickal name would probably be considered Celtic in nature, but the pantheons weren't ringing true to her.

Hilde had started to explore the Runes and Norse mythology. Ah ha, this seemed right! Hilde enjoyed reading and learning Norse mythology and the God/ desses in the Norse culture. Again, she wasn't really a true Runester, and she wasn't totally Northern Tradition oriented. Why, in Northern Tradition the Moon is masculine and the Sun feminine. Well, this just doesn't feel right. Hilde thought about this occasionally and finally decided on the anima/ animus approach. The Moon was always going to be a feminine quality to her, she thought, so she would just continue to draw this quality from the Moon utilizing the anima/ animus and choosing the female quality. "However, one never truly knows what the future holds."

Hilde's cocoa had become luke warm by now. However, chocolate is chocolate, and it didn't matter to Hilde. Chocolate tastes delicious, cold, hot, or in-between. Indeed, it is a wonderful time to be alive, Hilde thought. To live in a time where there were people who studied and remained true to specific traditions so others could learn a tradition as pure as possible; and at a time where eclectic, solitary practioners were also respected in their own right was truly amazing. Hilde again smiled, yes, what a wonderful time to be on this earth.

Hilde was definitely on the right path. Even though she was on the right path she often still felt like a misfit. Even among people who she considered her peers she was still different. Her personal wiring was a bit different and she often perceived things differently than those around her. The good news was, people on the Wiccan/ Earth Religion, Runic paths are open to letting you be you. This was a lovely feeling indeed. It didn't matter whether you were wired differently, perceived things differently. It didn't matter whether your skills and talents were not blatant like those of your mentors. The only thing that was important was to be true to yourself and keep the crede of "to harm none."

Ummmm, Hilde finished off the last drop of her cocoa, closed her eyes and smiled to herself. She felt much better. Yes, life is good. Hilde opened her eyes, stood up, went over to her portable alter and lit her incense. Time to do her Chi-Gong and get the day on its way.

Hilde paused. Yes, she could see that her path is a subtle one. Her energies are subtle, her abilities are subtle, yet they are there. Sometimes it took taking a class, or going to her favorite Wiccan store in the local New Age strong hold to gain reinforcement and to remind herself of this. Sometimes it just took a call to her sister. The nice thing is that the supports are there and Hilde smiled to herself as she recognized this. It was so nice to have such a wonderful support system in place that allowed you to proceed as you should on your own path.

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